Today is my birthday. A lot can change in a year. Last year on this day I got some really bad news. We had been trying to get pregnant for awhile and I knew something wasn't right. I went to the doctor and got some tests done and a diagnostic ultrasound. I got the results on my birthday. The doctor told me it was going to be very hard to get pregnant without fertility treatment, and even then, the odds weren't great. The wait list to be seen by a specialist was over a year long. This was very hard to hear. I've always wanted to have kids, I have always pictured my life with kids. To learn that it might not happen in the way I always thought was very difficult. I had to start adjusting my life and start thinking about what I would do if I never could have kids. I didn't give up hope, but I knew that I had to be ok with things not happening the way I had planned or I would always be unhappy. The next few months were very challenging. I had to start coming up with new goals and ambitions. Anyone who has had a difficult time conceiving will know how hard it is each month to get your hopes up and then have them dashed again. It is emotionally draining.
But then, in October, I had reason to hope that something had happened...And I was right! That was such an exciting moment, getting that positive result. I was shaking from head to foot. It had happened all on its own without any fertility treatment.
My pregnancy wasn't always easy. I spent the first four months or so puking and nibbling on crackers and the last couple months were challenging. But I am so thankful for this little baby that grew inside of me. And now, a year after the worst birthday, I have a baby boy who will soon be four weeks old! What a difference a year makes! From despair to joy. You are a wonderful birthday present, Kesten Alec!
(Oh, and the fertility specialists finally gave me a call to set up an appointment a month ago, and I was very happy to tell them that I was days away from giving birth.)